Sardonic Brevity

Update

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:47:06 GMT

I think I shouldn't let a year pass without saying something here.

Wow.

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:26:33 GMT

Priceline is advertising an "Inauguration Special" for people to travel to DC in January. I don't think they did that in 2004.

The Scorpion and the Frog

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:45:43 GMT

This morning just before 8:00, a young man got on the #48 bus and inserted his ticket into the fare meter. The bus driver informed him that his ticket was for off-peak hours only and that he would have to pay an extra quarter. Angrily, the man pulled a quarter out his pocket, shoved it into the meter, and grabbed his transfer. Walking down the aisle toward his seat, he held his hand up next to his ear and flipped off the bus driver and was immediately tossed off the bus. It was his nature.

Moral: Don't give your drive the finger until you reach your destination.

Dr. Xxx would not approve

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:06:36 GMT

John McCain read The Martian Chronicles and was inspired to send humans to Mars by it? Maybe he needs to reread it.

Does CNN not realize how stupid this sounds?

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:22:07 GMT

From CNN's front page, an ad for Larry King Live:

Do vaccines cause autism? Actress and mother of an autistic son, Jenny McCarthy, debates the issue with medical professionals.

Your favourite band sounds like WHAT??

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:03:01 GMT

Last night hosting trivia, we did an audio round asking teams to identify bands appearing at the upcoming Sasquatch Festival. (Damn, they just added Kathleen Edwards to the day we're going. The only thing I could be doing that day that would be more fun would be reading questions as HSNCT.) The average round score was 5.4/10, which means people did reasonably well but also means that there were a lot of wrong answers. Here's who a group of pub trivia players think the songs we played sound like. (Bands in italics are actually playing Sasquatch and thus are usually not bad guesses.)

1. Cannonball, The Breeders
Wrong: Tegan & Sara, Seether, Elastica, Cranberries
Lesson: People who are about 30 mostly remember the Breeders.

2. The Widow, The Mars Volta
Wrong: Kristin Hersh, Garbage, Paramore (x2), Liz Phair, PJ Harvey, Endeavors, Wolfmother, Cat Power, Muse, Thee Emergency, Mates of State, Kinski
Lesson: Dude from the Mars Volta sounds like a lady.

3. Fake Empire, The National
Wrong: Mark Knopfler, Tim McGraw, They Might Be Giants, Crash Test Dummies (x4), Nick Cave, Ben Folds Five, Arcade Fire, Alexi Murdoch, Magnetic Fields, Awesome
Lesson: All bands with a deep-voiced lead singer are compared to the Crash Test Dummies.

4. Don't Go Back to Rockville, R.E.M.
Wrong: Wallflowers, The Shins, Drive-By Truckers, Mates of State, The Paperboys
Lesson: Not everyone can recognize Michael Stipe's voice, so I should have gone a little easier if I wanted everyone to get it.

5. Street Signs, Ozomatli
Wrong: Mana, Ricky Martin, Manu Chao, Orishas, Rodrigo y Gabriela (x2), MIA (x2), Vivala
Lesson: Ricky Martin??? Is he still alive?

6. Ocean Breathes Salty, Modest Mouse
Wrong: Primus
Lesson: Just about everyone actually can recognize Isaac Brock's voice

7. Business Time, Flight of the Conchords
Wrong: Sir Mix-A-Lot, Goldfrapp, Band of Horses, Fight of Conquerors (ouch)
Lesson: Wouldn't Sir Mix-A-Lot, Alison Goldfrapp, and Band of Horses teaming up to cover "Business Time" be the funniest thing ever?

8. North by Northwest, Blue Scholars
Wrong: Cypress Hill, G. Love & Special Sauce, Bow Wow, Ghostland Observatory, Carlos Vitara, A Tribe Called Quest, Common Market
Lesson: Most people know their local hip-hop, or at least they can name one local hip-hop group after hearing the phrase "Live for occupied Duwamish territory."

9. The Electric Version, The New Pornographers
Wrong: Eels, Death Cab for Cutie (x2), Flaming Lips, Presidents of the USA, Doves, Vampire Weekend, The Shins, The Mars Volta
Lesson: The New Pornographers sound like a lot of alternative and indie rock bands.

10. Fight Test, The Flaming Lips
Wrong: Dave Matthews Band, Built to Spill, Oasis
Lesson: The Flaming Lips are kind of distinctive. (The team that guessed Built to Spill was the team that guessed Flaming Lips for #9.)

Now I'm wishing I'd played "Atlas" by Battles just to see if someone would have guessed Alvin & the Chipmunks.

Idiot Stat Watch

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 05:49:03 GMT

On ESPN right now they are saying how much better it is to be a #1 seed than a #3 seed in the NCAA basketball tournament. Yes, you say, that seems obvious. The stat that use to argue this point is that while #1, #2, and #3 seeds all have really good records in the first two rounds of the tournament, #3 seeds actually have a 21-23 record (under .500!) in the third round. Shocking! Shocking, that is, until you realize that, if the seeds hold, the #3 seed would be playing a #2 seed in the third round, and would therefore be an underdog. Well done, ESPN producers, well done.

For cdbarker and tophatter2

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:32:03 GMT

The emotional scarring that the 1984 Blue Jays and Orioles must have suffered as a result of appearing in this video finally explains why the Tigers ran away with the division.

QOTD

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:58:46 GMT

"The notion that humans descended from apes has never been popular among fundamentalists, but what of the apes themselves? Given the gory history of Homo sapiens on Earth, no self-respecting chimp or gorilla would claim a genetic connection to us." -- Carl Hiassen

The ideal Super Bowl halftime

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:05:24 GMT

No Tom Petty. No Paula Abdul.

Use the picture-in-picture capabilities of the TV to make a split screen. On the right side, Puppy Bowl. On the left side, Bomberman. Enjoyment ensued.

Did you notice that...

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:09:51 GMT

The first Youtube video I've seen that ends 5 seconds before the interesting part

...not only did Colts fans boo the 12-year-old girl in the Patriots jersey, they also failed to boo the girl in the Chargers jersey? As we speak, Gregg Easterbrook is writing a 10,000-word essay about how this disrespect and looking ahead to next week offended the football gods and caused the Colts to lose. Or maybe it was because one of the coaches wasn't cold enough. Anything that keeps him from writing about public policy is OK with me.

Ye Olde Quiz

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:55:52 GMT

Finally posting the pub quiz from 3 weeks ago.

Round 1: Geography-Secret Theme

1. This one-time capital of Poland was the setting for most of Schindler’s List.
2. A monument between this city’s Sheremetevo Airport and the city itself marks the extent of German advances in 1941.
3. This capital city of one million makes up one-third of its nation’s population and is the coldest world capital. In the suburbs most people still live in traditional felt tents.
4. A 1931 flood of this river may have caused upwards of four million deaths. This information brought to you by I. P. Freely
5. This world capital on the Tigris lies 55 miles north of the site of ancient Babylon
6. The city of Alamut, in what is now Iran, was home until 1256 to what militant Islamic sect whose name is today more associated with people like Lee Harvey Oswald and Mark David Chapman?
7. This largest lake in the world is the only home to the sturgeon that produces top-quality beluga caviar.
8. If you ask Hu Jintao, La Paz, Bolivia is the world’s highest capital. If you ask Richard Gere, this Tibetan city is.
9. This second largest city in Afghanistan was founded in the 4th century BCE by Alexander the Great and was originally named for him.
10. All of the above places lie in area conquered, or at least pillaged, by what man and his descendents?

Round 2: God Bless us, Everyone!

1. What title character of a John Irving novel see his own name and future date of death engraved on a tombstone while playing the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come in a school play?
2. Some researchers have posited that this character suffered from renal tubercular acidosis, which could have been successfully treated in the Victorian Era, if one had the money.
3. What two Muppet characters “play” the brothers Marley & Marley in A Muppet Christmas Carol?
4. Ebenezer Scrooge reluctantly allows Bob Cratchit to have Christmas, but tells him to show up all the earlier on the 26th which is known as what in England?
5. On what household object does Scrooge originally see the ghost of Jacob Marley?
6. In a 1988 Christmas special, what character played by Rowan Atkinson starts out kind and generous and is then shown how successful he would be if he started being an asshole?
7. Ebbie, a 1995 adaptation with a female Scrooge, starred what actress with one win out of 19 nominations for a Daytime Emmy Award?
8. An episode of Xena: Warrior Princess focuses on a miserly king and the efforts of the Three Graces to change his ways. However, since Christianity wasn’t around, the show referenced this holiday, which in 2007 will occur on Dec. 22nd.
9. The Ghost of Christmas Present shows the Cratchits dining on roast goose and what traditional dessert often served with brandy butter?
10. Finish this classic Scrooge quote: "If they would rather die ... they had better do it, and decrease” what?

Round 3: Tis the season to watch the Food Network

1. This proprietor of the Lady & Sons restaurant in Savannah Georgia and fan of lots of butter was the first Food Network personality to be bleeped.
2. Alton Brown was a cinematographer, before becoming a food personality. He did the cinematography for what R.E.M. video from Document?
3. Everyday Italian host Giada de Laurentiius is the granddaughter of movie mogul Dino de Laurentiius. De Laurentiius produced what David Lynch bomb featuring a performance from Sting?
4. Before each episode of the original (i.e. Japanese) Iron Chef, Chairman Kaga bit into what food item?
5. What Seattle restaurateur and author of I Love Crabcakes defeated Iron Chef Morimoto in a chinook salmon battle?
6. Emeril Lagasse will be the 2008 grand marshal of what annual parade that airs before the “granddaddy of them all?”
7.Tyler Florence, host of Tyler’s Ultimate, created dishes for what chain restaurant in 2006?
8. Nigella Lawson is the daughter of what former Chancellor of the Exchequer under Margaret Thatcher?
9. In 1999, Marc Summers, the host of Unwrapped, revealed that he suffered from what mental illness that must have made hosting Double Dare rather difficult?
10. Duff Goldman, star of Ace of Cakes lives and works in what city, which is also the setting for HBO’s The Wire?

Round 4: Identify the TV movie
Picture round is here.

Round 5: Christmas Music (Audio Round)

Name the “popular” artists performing these holiday songs.

1. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
2. Takin’ Care of Christmas
3. Rock of Ages (Ma’Oz Tzur)
4. Silent Night
5. The First Nowell
6. O Come All Ye Faithful

For each of the remaining selections, you will only need to give one of the two possible performers. That’s our Christmas gift to you.

7. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
8. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
9. Fairytale of New York
10. Little Drummer Boy

Round 6: Hold Your Horses

1. Washington State Initiative 831 was proposed in 2003 and, if ratified, would have declared what anti-tax activist who spearheaded Initiative 960 to be a “horse’s ass”?
2. What building at Pike Place Market, home to Metsker Maps and The Crumpet Shop, took its name from the fact that horses were not allowed inside?
3. In The Godfather, a horse loses his head. That horse shared its name with what African capital city?
4. Eleven years after his debut, what video game character was given a horse named Epona in 1997’s Ocarina of Time?
5. Horses, zebras, and donkeys are members of what genus?
6. Horse-like creatures named Houyhnhms (Whinyms) look down on the Yahoos in what 1726 work of English literature?
7. According to sports legend, a surprising loss is called an “Upset” because, in 1919, Upset was the name of the only horse to ever beat what thoroughbred?
8. The height of a horse is measured in hands. How many inches in a hand?
9. “Gloria” is the first song on what musician’s 1976 album Horses?
10. What Portland based independent comic publisher’s list of releases includes Barb Wire, Sin City, and Hellboy?

Round 7: The Movie Round

1. Dudley Moore plays the misguided elf Patch, whose shoddy mass-produced toys and candy canes nearly ruin Christmas for everyone, in this 1985 film.
2. The first adaptation of a John Steinbeck novel was this 1939 film about George and Lennie.
3. John Landis was charged with child endangerment and involuntary manslaughter after a helicopter accident killed three on the set of this 1983 film.
4. Sean Penn and Robin Wright first appeared together in this 1990 film as an undercover Boston police officer and a member of a family of Irish-American gangsters in New York, respectively.
5. What 1962 Otto Preminger film starring Henry Fonda as a nominee for Secretary of State takes its name from the clause in Article II of the Constitution that specifies the Senate’s role in the nomination process?
6. The name “Homer Simpson” comes from this 1975 film, in which Donald Sutherland plays an everyman by that name living in 1930s Hollywood. The film is based on a 1939 Nathanael West novel.
7. Walter Matthau was hospitalized with pneumonia following filming of this 1993 film, in which his character loses a fight – with Jack Lemmon, of course – for the heart of Ann-Margret.
8. Fans of this 1966 film based on a TV series often append the number “66” to its title, in order to distinguish it from 1989 Tim Burton film with the same title character?
9. Hulk Hogan and Mr. T made their film debuts in this 1982 film as the wrestler Thunderlips and the boxer Clubber Lang.
10. What actor or actress appeared in all these films?

Round 8: My My My My Mitchell!
Picture round is here.

Answers here.

Texas, where nothing ever moves

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:48:22 GMT

Dallas-Fort Worth airport has five terminals. In the past six hours, I visited them all. Terminal D is the nicest.

Comedy Night Done Incorrectly

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 20:55:10 GMT

Last night at about 6:00, we leave the house to go to the pub. This involves an automobile, as public transportation is really not a good way to get from the Central District to Ballard. It's pretty good for north-south and east-west, but not northwest-southeast.

Backing out onto our street in usually the hardest part of the trip because it's usually pretty busy at rush hour. Last night it was difficult because there was a white car parked in our driveway. Our car is not white.

The woman in the car informed us that she had run out of gas and had pulled into our driveway to call her husband for help. This was pretty upsetting to us as: 1) we wanted to go somewhere; 2) there was a parking spot available 5 feet east of our driveway she could have stopped in instead; and 3) it seems that if you run out of gas, you don't have enough gas to find somewhere to park. But if someone says their car won't go, you tend not to question them. No one could be that dumb.

So she asks to see if we can push the car into the spot. I think about it, look at the traffic, and decide after a moment, no, that's fucking insane. I can't believe I was silly enough to think it might have worked, even for a second. I tell her it's not going to work.

Emily get on the phone, more pissed than I am, to tell people we'll be late. She says "some IDIOT ran out of gas and parked in our driveway." "Idiot" was apparently the magic gasoline-producing word, as she was then able to start her car and drive to a spot down the street. We're still not sure what exactly the deal was.

So yay, we can go out. We back out onto the street, which is still busy, but a car lets us in. Unfortunately, the van in front of him on the other side of the driveway stalls. The driver of the van tries to restart, but, as our house is on a slope, he can't restart without sliding a little bit backwards first. Right into the back-left corner of our car. Fortunately, nothing was seriously damaged in this 3-5 mph collision.

On the sitcom cliche scale, 1 being Arrested Development and 10 being Two and a Half Men, I rank last night's events a 9, or as cliched as According to Jim. If we had been on the way to the hospital to deliver a baby, it would have been off the scale.

Habituation

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:32:44 GMT

According to NWS, it's rained 5.67 inches in the last 72 hours. I felt like this was slightly worse than usual for this time of year. The news reports had to tell me how widespread flooding actually is.

I also recently rediscovered this old Canadian PSA on Youtube. I think it's normal too and not the least bit odd.

Pub Quiz October 30

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 03:31:04 GMT

Round 1: Mexican Geography

1. Only one U.S. state’s territory was obtained by the federal government in four separate pieces. What state’s territory was obtained through the Louisiana Purchase, the Annexation of Texas, the Oregon Cession, and the Mexican Cession?
2. Tabasco is a state in Mexico, but Tabasco sauce has been made since 1868 on Avery Island in what U.S. state?
3. A metal church in Santa Rosalia, Baja California Sur, is traditionally credited as being designed by what French architect for the 1889 Paris World’s Fair?
4. Two rivers make up part of the border between the U.S. and Mexico. The Rio Grande is one. What is the other?
5. According to urbanspoon.com, as of yesterday, what Ballard restaurant is the best-loved restaurant in Seattle, with a 90% favorability rating?
6. From 1840 to 1848, what peninsula briefly declared independence from Mexico? It was reabsorbed when they needed help from Mexico City to put down a Maya revolt.
7. Mexico is the 14th largest country in the world by area, directly behind what Middle Eastern nation?
8. What southernmost Mexican state has several towns that are controlled by members of the Zapatista movement?
9. You mean there’s a “New” Mexico now? In 1950, the New Mexico town of Hot Springs renamed itself after what radio program?
10. In order to experience the geography of Mexico, you must first cross the border. According to the song “Banditos” by The Refreshments, you can do this by showing an ID card stating that you are what TV character?

Round 2: In Laws. Name the Mother-in-Law or Father-in-Law of the following people:

Mothers-in-Law

1. Camilla Parker Bowles
2. Chris Robinson, from 2000-2006
3. Kaiser Frederick III, father of Kaiser Wilhelm II
4. Louis XVI
5. Elrond Halfelven

Fathers-in-Law

6. Prince Philip
7. Denise Richards, 2002-2006
8. If all goes well, Henry Hager, sometime in 2008
9. Peter Griffin
10. Catherine Zeta-Jones

Round 3: Audio Round

Round 4: All Hallow’s Eve. Name these Ghosts.
Picture Round.

Round 5: This round may be subject to cancellation

1. The 1919 Stanley Cup finals between Seattle and Montreal were cancelled, because several players and coaches came down with, and one died, of what illness?
2. The Nobel Peace Prize in 1948 was not awarded, mainly due to the January 30 assassination of what five-time nominee?
3. In 1997 a pilot was made for a TV series based on the film Fargo. What actress, who was nominated for six and won three Emmys between 1999 and 2007, played Marge Gunderson in that pilot?
4. Cancelled was the title of the 100th episode of what series, now in its eleventh season?
5. Radiohead once cancelled a free concert in Moscow’s Red Square that I almost got to go to. I had my revenge by choosing to pay no money to download what latest album?
6. In 2004, Sinclair broadcasting refused to air a Veterans Day broadcast of an unedited version of this film, citing its profanity.
7. The Simpsons episode “Krusty Gets Kancelled” featured what Eastern European cat-and-mouse cartoon as a replacement for “Itchy & Scratchy”?
8. Cancelled stamps are generally worth less than their uncancelled counterparts. One exception is the stamps of this entity, which issued way more stamps than needed in the 1860s.
9. What short lived Steven Bochco drama must have been pitched as “like Hill Street Blues. With singing?”
10. What 2007 show set in Nevada, which was cancelled after two episodes, also unwisely featured musical numbers?

Round 6: Versus

1. Until September 2006, the cable channel Versus was known by what name?
2. After being featured in Ocean’s Eleven, a remix of what song became a posthumous hit for Elvis Presley in 2002 and was credited to “Elvis vs. JXL”?
3. Which film finished in fourth place in the “Humor” category at The Stranger’s HUMP festival this year? It shares its name with a 2004 sci-fi film, except that the word “versus” was replaced with the word “fucks.”
4. What 2007 book about the movie business written by David Mamet takes its name from a 1969 animated short written by Marv Newland, with a screenplay by Marv Newland, choreographed by Marv Newland, and produced by Marv Newland?
5. In 1961, Cuban exile Antonio Prohias created what comic strip?
6. What song off of Pearl Jam’s 1993 album Vs. had the longest title?
7. A notorious 1856 Supreme Court case’s litigants were defendant John Sanford vs. what plaintiff?
8. The episode in which Homer Simpson fights against Prohibition in Springfield is called “Homer vs.” what amendment?
9. What NBC game show features a contestant matching his wits against a group called “The Mob”?
10. Bear Grylls is the host of what Discovery Channel program?

Round 7: Movies

1. This 1994 sequel is, so far, O.J.’s last film. He was awarded a Razzie for Worst Supporting Actor for his portrayal of Detective Nordberg.
2. This 1989 film featured Burt Lancaster in his last role, playing baseball player Archibald “Moonlight” Graham.
3. In 2004, to the ire of many fans, British actor Sebastian Shaw was removed from the DVD of this 1983 blockbuster.
4. This 1992 Robert Redford film, which involves the theft of a decryption device, ends with reports of record donations to Amnesty International and the coincidental bankruptcy of the Republican National Committee.
5. The director originally intended for this 1964 film based on the novel Red Alert to be serious, but eventually decided to embrace the absurdity inherent in the idea of Mutual Assured Destruction.
6. Much of the budget for this 1990 thriller went to the U.S. Navy for the use of its equipment, including the 360 foot attack sub, the U.S.S. Houston.
7. This 1998 film based on a controversial best seller, garnered Kathy Bates an Oscar nomination for playing a character based partly on Vince Foster.
8. The 1990 case Buchwald v. Paramount regarding this 1988 comedy eventually decided the script was based on screenplay of Art Buchwald’s, and not an original story by Eddie Murphy.
9. When actress Sandahl Bergman nearly had her finger cut off during the filming of this 1982 film, director John Milius merely said “Valeria would never let that happen again.”
10. What actor or actress appeared in all nine of these films?

Round 8: All Hallow’s Day. Name these saints.
Picture Round.

Answers here.

Bad Advertising Pt. 1

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 03:27:33 GMT

The fall ballot for Washington has a referendum, R-67, that, if approved, would impose additional regulations on the insurance industry. Being a non-citizen and quite probably moving out of state again within the year, I really don't have much of an opinion on the initiative. You should just get universal health care and be done with it, eh?

As you can guess, the insurance industry is spending millions of dollars in advertising to get the voters of Washington to reject R-67. This is noteworthy because it is the most obnoxious political ad campaign I have ever seen.

The first ad started airing months before campaign season. It showed a cackle of trial lawyers, obviously from the firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, plotting to sue everybody once R-67 is approved. I don't understand why insurance companies think they can demonize trial lawyers. "They" say everyone hates lawyers until they need one, but everyone hates insurance companies even when they need one.

During the current campaign season, they have upped the ante with two of the most obnoxious ads ever. Do you know what's been missing for commercials recently? Sassy, smart-talking waitresses who hate trial lawyers! This ad was obviously prepared with the hope that no one under the age of 40 would ever see it (or better still, vote in the election) so, while retarded, I'm clearly not in the target demo.

The ad the pro-R-67 campaign was running at the same time as "Sassy Waitress" featured an actual human being talking about how insurance companies screwed over her father. Real people are more convincing than actors.

In response to that ad, the anti- forces put together the most obnoxious campaign ad in history.

What's wrong with this ad? Strike one: it shows an actor talking next to a TV showing the other side's ad. Strike two: the scriptwriter's didn't dare accuse the woman from the pro- ad of lying; instead, it's the "trial lawyers" who are lying. Cowards. Strike three, and the reason this ad deserves a special place in hell: The most obnoxious part of the ad occurs right at the start when the woman says "It's wrong to lie" is the most grating tone of voice. We don't even have a chance to hit the mute button before being hit with the full force of its pain. I'm actually glad that the insurance industry is probably hiring out-of-state actors for this one. If that poor woman lived in Washington, she wouldn't be able to go anywhere without people yelling "It's wrong to lie" at her in their whiniest possible voices.

So vote for R-67, if only to encourage better quality political ads.

The weather's a little bit predictable

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:15:26 GMT

Baseball Log #9: Gambling Makes Everything Better. Except the Game.

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 03:14:27 GMT

Postseason prediction: Indians over Diamondbacks. Someone in the Rockies organization is tempting fate by giving God credit for influencing sporting events before the season's over. I would credit a sudden collapse to the "Kitna Effect."

Went to the 2nd last game of the Mariners season. We made it more fun by gambling on all the stupid things. We bet on whether the "Play Ball" kid would be a boy or a girl. We bet on whether the kid running towards first base or third base would win the pre-game race. We bet on the answer to the multiple-choice trivia question, before seeing the answers of course. We bet on which boat would win the boat race on the scoreboard; I knew I lost when the Comcast boat had 25 victories, and the other two had 27 each. You know each boat ended with 27 victories.

We also passed the time thinking up flavors of Jones Soda for each of the Mariners, like they've done with the Seahawks. We think Ichiro would have water-flavored soda, because he's big on nutrition.

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 22:32:57 GMT

"This government does not torture people." -- G.W. Bush

Man, we Canadians have enough problems already without Bush thinking he runs our government instead of his own.

Pub Quiz

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:14:18 GMT

I'm posting our pub quiz from Tuesday for your amusement, enjoyment, or ignoring.

Round 1: Geography

1. In 2010, Vancouver will become the most populous city to host the Winter Olympic Games. What city currently holds that record?
2. Barcelona, the second largest city in Spain, is the capital of what autonomous region?
3. The largest county by area in the United States is California’s San Bernardino. The second largest county is Coconino County in what state?
4. In 1873, this capital city on the Danube officially became one city.
5. Like the US, South Africa has three branches of government. Unlike the US it has separate capitals for each of them. Name any two of the three capitals of South Africa.
6. The University of Washington is in Seattle’s University District, but what Midwestern city’s “University City” district is home to Washington University?
7. This deepest lake in the world contains 20 % of the earth’s fresh surface water and a species of seal found nowhere else, hundreds of miles from the nearest ocean.
8. Clark Air Force Base in the Philippines was closed in 1991, shortly after what volcano dumped several feet of ash on the base?
9. What aptly named region in Eastern Washington shows the signs left by the rapid drainage of Glacial Lake Missoula in the Pleistocene?
10. The Sea of Marmara, between the Aegean Sea from the Black Sea, is bordered by the Dardanelles and what other narrow channel that separates the city of Istanbul from its Asian suburbs?

Round 2: Jewish Sports Legends

1. In 1934 what Detroit Tiger first basement, who hit 58 home runs in 1938, was the first major League player to refuse to play on Yom Kippur?
2. In 2006, snowboarder Shaun White announced that he wouldn’t mind dating this American figure skater, who bears no relation to the voice of King Julien in Madagascar.
3. Israeli athlete Gal Fridman won his country’s first ever Olympic gold medal in 2004 in what sport? This sport was also associated with 2004 presidential candidate John Kerry.
4. After Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said that the NBA’s officiating director couldn’t manage one of these restaurants, Cuban worked there for a day as penance.
5. This American swimmer won 7 gold medals at the Munich Olympics, the most of any athlete at a single Olympiad.
6. This General Manager of the Boston Red Sox became the youngest GM ever when he was hired in 2002 at the age of 28.
7. Jay Fiedler, one time quarterback for the Miami Dolphins, is a distant relative of conductor Arthur Fielder. Fiedler was the conductor of what orchestra, later helmed by John Williams?
8. Olympic Gymnast Mitch Gaylord was the stunt double for Robin in the film Batman Forever. What actor, who desperately needed a competence double, played Robin in Batman Forever and Batman & Robin?
9. Larry Brown is the only head coach to win both the NBA and NCAA championships. He won with the Pistons in 2004, but what current Big XII team did he coach to the NCAA championship in 1988?
10. In 2003, Sandy Koufax briefly broke off ties with the L.A. Dodgers. The Dodgers were at the time owned by what man, whose paper, the New York Post, printed rumors that Koufax was gay?
Bonus. On September 9, 1965, Koufax pitched a no-hitter against Bob Hedley of the Cubs. How many total hits were there in that game?

Round 3: Big in Japan

1. For what Japanese Pacific League team did Ichiro Suzuki play from 1992 to 2000?
2. If it is not produced in Hyogo Prefecture, “Wagyu” is the proper name for what type of food named for the capital of Hyogo?
3. What Tokyo arena, built to host judo at the 1964 Olympics, is known in the U.S. as the site of live albums recorded by Bob Dylan and Cheap Trick?
4. What name is given to the 1274 typhoon that helped Japanese defenders fight off a Mongol invasion?
5. Maya Chino, Jennifer Kita, Rino Nakasone, and Mayuko Kitayama are the four members of what group of Gwen Stefani’s backup singers?
6. What is the name of Hiyao Miyazaki’s film studio that has produced such films as Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away?
7. Which Iron Chef cast member owns an eponymous restaurant located at 723 Chestnut Street in Philadelphia and recently published a book on “The New Art of Japanese Cooking”?
8. The first act of Japanese aggression in World War II took place in 1931, when Japan invaded and annexed what region of China?
9. According to the 2007 Fortune 500, what automobile company is the largest company based in Japan and the 6th largest in the world?
10. An annual festival held at Seattle Center since 1976 commemorates Tokyo mayor Takeo Miki’s gift of 1000 of what item to the city of Seattle?

Round 4: Age of Discovery
Picture Round

Round 5: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

1. The phrase “lies, damn lies, and statistics” is attributed to what Conservative British Prime Minister of the 19th century? (and rival of Gladstone)
2. The author of Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right is currently seeking the Democratic nomination in what state to run for the U.S. Senate?
3. What early Christian philosopher, who lived in the city of Hippo, categorized lies into eight categories of differing severity, ranging from “lies in religious teaching” to “lies that harm no one and save someone’s purity”?
4. To get the view of Seattle’s skyline where the Space Needle appears in the foreground and appears far taller than all the buildings downtown, you can visit what park on Highland Avenue in Upper Queen Anne?
5. Who “betrayed millions of readers,” according to Oprah Winfrey, for making up most of his “memoir” A Million Little Pieces?
6. Statistician William Sealy Gosset published his work under the pseudonym “Student” in order to not reveal his employer. Gosset worked in Dublin for what business that was founded in 1759?
7. What term for a “Gaussian distribution” was used by Richard Hermstein and Charles Murray as the title of (a scientifically vacuous) 1994 book arguing that IQ scores were correlated with race?
8. In order to produce an opinion poll with a 3% margin of error, a polling group must survey approximately: A) 100 people, B) 1000 people, C) 10000 people, or D) 100000 people?
9. A classic probability puzzle is named for what longtime host of Let’s Make a Deal?
10. The U.S. Census Bureau, collector of many statistics, is part of what Cabinet department whose secretary is Carlos Gutierrez?

Round 6: There is a film, a certain film...

1. The 1999 HBO movie, RKO 281, based on the making of Citizen Kane, stars what American actor who would later direct Everything is Illuminated and father a child with Naomi Watts?
2. Agnes Moorehead, who plays Kane’s mother, would go on to play what meddling character in the sitcom Bewitched?
3. Continuing with the theme of Mongols and bad movies, what is the name of Kane’s mansion, which shares its name with a stately pleasure dome decreed by Kublai Khan, and a really bad Olivia Newton John movie?
4. The White Stripes song, “The Union Forever,” which primarily consists of lines from Citizen Kane, is from what 2001 album, their third and first major commercial success?
5. Citizen Kane is based on the life of media magnate William Randolph Hearst. Of the A. San Francisco Chronicle, the B. Louisville Courier Journal, the C. Houston Chronicle and D. the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, is not operated by the Hearst Corporation?
6. Kane’s telegram to his reporter in Cuba “You’ll supply the prose poems, I’ll supply the war” is a reference to Hearst’s role in urging what 1898 war?
7. Welles claimed that he originally intended to base Charles Foster Kane on this mogul, later portrayed in 2004 by Leonardo DiCaprio.
8. One of Welles’ final requests was to keep this man and “his godamn Crayolas” away from his movie.
9. Citizen Kane’s only Oscar was for its screenplay. What 1941 John Ford film about a Welsh coal mining family won the Oscar for Best Picture that year?
10. William Randolph Hearst carried on a long time affair with actress Marion Davies According to Hollywood legend, what was Hearst’s nickname for Miss Davies’ clitoris?

Round 7: The Movie Round

1. Catherine O’Hara received some Oscar nomination buzz for this 2006 film in which her character, Marilyn Hack, also received some Oscar nomination buzz.
2. Diane Lane buys a fixer-upper Italian villa in this 2003 film.
3. Samuel L. Jackson stars in this 1998 Canadian-Italian co-production as a badass… antique dealer who, like many others before him, becomes entranced by the title instrument.
4. Subtitled “The Ultimate Disaster Movie,” this 1997 film’s plot starts with the title character supervising the transfer of Whistler’s Mother to Los Angeles, although the plot is mainly an excuse for zany slapstick hijinks.
5. Ben Stiller stars in this 1998 film based on the autobiography of TV writer Jerry Stahl and his struggle with heroin addiction.
6. Mia Thermopolis discovers she is royalty in the kingdom of Genovia in the plot of this 2001 film.
7. An essay belonging to Frankie Muniz is stolen and turned into a movie starring Jaleel White in this 2002 film.
8. In this 2006 film based on an Armistead Maupin novel, Robin Williams plays a gay radio host who travels to Wisconsin investigating the story of a teenager suffering form AIDS.
9. This 2004 film has the tagline, “In search of wine. In search of women. In search of themselves.”
10. What actor or actress has appeared in all nine of these films?

Round 8: 2007 Deaths
Picture Round

Answers here.

The Carnivore's Dilemma

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:53:17 GMT

What better way to celebrate an anniversary than with meat? With expensive meat!

El Gaucho became known to me through its full page ad in Alaska Airlines Magazine. The ad copy was written by some fellow named Quinn Travis, who calls it "the Quinn T. Essential steakhouse." I will not name any child of mine Quinn just to prevent them from having the ability to make that pun.

The ad was notable to me for the following (paraphrased) passage:

I frequent all the big-name Seattle steakhouses, and occasionally the others have an off night, where the service isn't quite right or the meat isn't quite done to perfection. But I've been to El Gaucho many, many times and they've never had an off night.

There's only one response to that: Fuck you for having the financial and gastrointestinal means to be able to boast about frequenting all the big-name Seattle steakhouses.

El Gaucho does come highly recommended by actual people not writing ad copy, so it seemed fine for the anniversary. What can be said about a good steak cooked to perfection? Not much. It's great, and that's that. It came with "Southwest Scalloped Potatoes" that were both tasty and southwestern-tasting; they actually tasted like they had jalapenos in them, unlike most things you see advertised as "southwestern." Bananas Foster, prepared tableside, is their signature dessert, and it was frickin' good.

The romantic atmosphere of the evening was interrupted occasionally by the odd choices of the pianist. He played "Layla" (not the unplugged version) while we were browsing the menu and, over the course of the night, also played "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia." As we were wondering if he could choose a more hilarious song to play, the arrival of the check coincided with the opening strains of "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Monday evening's uncured meatfest was followed with Tuesday's visit to Salumi for cured meat. Ever wonder how Mario Batali got so fat? Go to Salumi: it's owned by his dad. Cramped in a very tight space, it feels like a Subway where Anthony Bourdain would eat. They're only open from 11-4 from Tuesday to Friday, so gainful employment interferes with most people eating there. I had the meatball sub and it was tasty. Could have done without the vegetables though; the peppers and onions were kind of lackluster. And it actually wasn't all that expensive: $8.50 for the best ingredients is pretty darn reasonable.

Now to lose the many pounds I have gained.

New Cat

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 22:39:19 GMT

We got another cat. Her name is Mary Lou. We've been waiting for her and Bean to get along well enough to take a horribly cute picture.

Concert Review: New Pornographers, Lavender Diamond, and Fancey

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 03:24:19 GMT

The last New Pornographers show I saw was at Tastefest in Detroit. Indie rock shows at Tastefest were always a little weird because the Tastefest itself is a very racially mixed event. Then the show would start and suddenly you were in a sea of white people.

A similar experience took place outside the Showbox Friday night. Because the locals know that Pike Place Market and pretty well most everything else on First Avenue closes at 6:00, there were two groups of people wandering the area: indie rock fans and Ohio State fans in town for Saturday's game. No Ohio State fans were spotted at the concert, although there was a guy wearing a Kellen Winslow Jr. Browns jersey.

Milling around outside the venue, we spotted our favourite Ohio State fan ever: Bizarro cdbarker! A man walked by with approximately the same physique as cdbarker, wearing running shoes, khaki shorts, and an Ohio State jacket and hat. Inside the concert, we were wondering what sort of music Bizarro cdbarker would like. I1? Hotwork? Leave your clever jokes in the comments.

The Showbox is a great venue. A nice bar, a fair number of places to sit during the opening acts, only slightly disgusting restrooms. There were three acts tonight. First up was Fancey, providing the New Pornographers with the much-appreciated band member opening act discount. A more perfect demonstration of cdbarker's opening act criteria you will never see. I would like to propose the following additional criteria to further demonstrate their awesomeness:

1. Did the set start and end on time? Check.
2. Did everyone in the band cover their nipples? Check.

Fancey's set commanded polite attention, which is ideal for the opening act.

Lavender Diamond, on the other hand, is not cut out to be an opening act. Becky Stark's stage persona is very talkative and very serious. She complained that people were talking during their set. It didn't help that she seemed a little sick and that her microphone wasn't quite amplified enough. Their entire performance was a little upsetting, because the instrumentalists sounded good and it really sounded like I could have enjoyed their set, had I been there to see them (and thus more willing to listen to in-between song banter) and had Becky Stark been 100%.

Having hit it medium, the New Pornographers can now afford something new, a marquee of their band name to hang above the stage during their set. I was hoping that it would eventually start lighting up one letter at a time but the wiring on the marquee wasn't that sophisticated. I think I've been to too many of their shows when Kathryn Calder's YA-A-A keyboard is now a familiar sight. The sound seemed slightly off, a little bit overamplified. Except for ~~Kurt Dahle~~ Jon Wurster's drumming, which was great as usual. All the instruments seemed to have the correct volumes relative to each other, which made me feel that ~~Kurt Dahle~~ Jon Wurster needs to tone down the awesome.

The set list below is from memory, but it wasn't that hard to reconstruct because they followed two patterns for most of the show. First, for half the show they alternated between songs off the new album and songs off the older albums. Second, every third song Dan Bejar stumbled out on stage to sing. I never tire of how it seems like they bring this homeless drunk in to sing once in a while. If Entourage ever gets into a contract dispute with Rhys Coiro, they could bring in Dan Bejar to play Billy Walsh and no one would notice the difference.

Set list: (for the benefit of tophatter2)
All The Things That Go To Make Heaven and Earth
Use It
Myriad Harbour
Electric Version
All The Old Showstoppers
Jackie Dressed in Cobras
Challengers
The Laws Have Changed
Testament To Youth In Verse
Mass Romantic
Failsafe
Entering White Cecilia
Go Places
Twin Cinema
My Rights Versus Yours
Mutiny I Promise You
Sing Me Spanish Techno
The Bleeding Heart Show
--------------
Execution Day
From Blown Speakers
These Are the Fables
The Slow Descent into Alcoholism

I need to pay more attention. Kurt Dahle is sitting out for a bit due to just having a baby. Jon Wurster from Superchuck was subbing. He looks kind of like Kurt Dahle.

Just when I thought my opinion of my undergraduate education couldn't get any lower

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:46:25 GMT

An e-mail I just received. The "To:" field for this e-mail was "Washington Area Alumni."

Alumni Western would like to offer you and a guest
complimentary tickets to

Western Night at the Ballpark
Washington Nationals vs. Philadelphia Phillies
Friday, September 21, 2007
7:05 p.m.
Group Ticket Offer

Location: RFK Stadium - Section 401, rows 4, 5 and 6
Address: 2400 East Capitol St SE - Washington, DC

Wear purple and show your Western pride! Maximum 2 tickets per
graduate.
Book early - these free tickets will go fast

I always thought it was unfair the way engineering undergraduates ripped on the social science students, but there's definitely some sort of problem in the geography department.